‘Why is change good? Why can’t things just stay the same? I was doing just fine. Now that I’ve done this change, I have no idea what is going on.’
I have said this myself and I’ve heard it from my clients, too! What is it about change that we actually don’t want to do any of it? We want the results, but don’t want to do the work that creates the change.
The answer is simple- because it’s a type of death and it puts finality on the familiar. And when we don’t know or understand something, it’s the human blue print to fear it. We don’t like change because we don’t know what the outcome will be. What if the outcome actually killed us? (Those odds are pretty low, by the way!)
Changing the way we act, say, or do something that’s different than our typical creates the inability to predict the outcome; therefore we’re at the mercy of mystery. Some people are more prone to the need to have or know the outcome before the scenario has been played out.
This is why we find ourselves stuck in life. We stick to the comfort of our knowledge and experience. So…in essence we actually keep ourselves in that dead place because we think we’re keeping ourselves alive. It’s our ego that does this, it’s happy knowing exactly how things will play out, even if we are not happy with the results, at least the ego already knows the playbook.
One of the jobs of our ego is to keep us alive; it’s a factor in discernment. It just sometimes operates in a way that doesn’t serve our highest good. It’s the judgmental critical part of ourselves that keeps us comfortable where we’re at. So to change, you need to surpass the ego and the only way to do that is to raise your awareness of when it’s not being used in an actual life or death situation. Then, you can soothe it, and maneuver your way past it.
There’s just no magic pill humans can take to create wanted results without putting in effort. Sometimes they’re big quick changes, but most of the time they are small, minute, consistent steps that create huge lasting changes that can become more tangible over a period of time. In expecting a time frame for results, you’re still reaching for that outcome.
Being aware is key in change and transformation. Things to consider when you’re wanting to move forward, ask yourself: Do I keep doing the same things, meeting the same people, saying the same things hoping that this time it will be different? Am I OK with not knowing how this will turn out? What can I do differentthat I haven’t yet tried, even though I’m nervous because I have no idea how this will turn out?
Just contemplating the above will get you to start thinking differently. And when we think differently, we act differently, and when we act differently, we’re doing differently, so we’ll create differently.
Increase your awareness by asking yourself: What are the ways I keep myself stuck? What happens, if what I fear actually happens? Would I physically die from that? How can I get out of that scary possibility? What are the odds of that possibility actually happening? What could do different, right now? What is a small tiny thing I could do different consistently?
These are just some initial, beginning considerations when you’re trying to transform your life. A caterpillar has no idea what it’s doing when it builds its chrysalis. It just hangs out in silence and develops without event trying. Then one day it is just different and leaves to explore, not knowing what’s in store for it. And look what happens to it, it turns into a completely different creature, one that literally flies forward, can’t stay in one spot or go backwards.
The sooner we become that caterpillar just hanging out in its cocoon, transforming, the sooner and richer our flight will be. How scary…and exciting.